Hard wired

You know how most newborns are swollen, wrinkled, and generally kinda funny looking?

Before Darian was born, I had told Victor, "When he's born, I'm going to have a rush of hormones telling me that he's the most beautiful thing in the world, but please feel free to tell me if our baby is funny looking. I want to know the truth."

Well, he was born and we both thought he was the most beautiful and adorable thing, ever. Of course.

Anyway, this morning, I was looking through some pictures and videos from the early days. And it turns out, he was a little funny looking. I mean, he was cute like all babies are cute, but really... his face was kinda wrinkly and not quite filled out, his features kinda misproportioned, and he looked super grumpy all the time.

And I found this video. It's not so notable... except that about halfway through, I say: "Why are you in such a good mood?"

We watched it and said, "... THAT'S a 'good mood'??" How were we so incredibly deluded?

Darian smiles and giggles regularly now and my heart overflows with joy to see him every day. I guess back then, 'not crying' signified a 'good' mood.

It's amazing how we are wired to get through the dark times... and then forget them.

Regrets

I won't lie. I sometimes miss my pre-baby life.

They say that you don't even remember what was life was like before your baby entered it, but that hasn't been the case with me. I remember it clearly, and I have fond memories of it.

It was a pretty good life. Victor and I lived downtown, biked to work, walked to any of the nearby restaurants for dinner out on a dime, and travelled now and then. Just before I got pregnant, we were toying with the idea of visiting Peru. Now we've had to lament the possibility that we may never get to see Machu Picchu.

I don't want to go through life with regrets, and I've wondered whether this will be one. I've had some pretty awesome experiences, but Machu Picchu was one that I really wanted to add to the list.

But then the other day, while I was changing Darian's diaper, I tried to entertain him by razzing my lips. And he copied me and razzed back!

And I can say with certainty, THAT was the most awesome thing that's ever happened to me in my life.

Works in progress

When Darian hit the 11-week mark, it's like he became a new baby. He's spending a lot more time being alert, less time fussing and crying, sleeping well, and he's happy to let us put him down in his chair where he can amuse himself with his hands for maybe half an hour at a time. Sometimes I don't even know what to do with him anymore now that I'm not operating in crisis mode 100% of the time.

So, with that being said... back to some non-baby related business.

House projects came to a bit of a standstill when he was born but I've started finding a little more time on my hands now that he naps well. So, I thought I'd post before pics of the next rooms that I want to tackle.

The den:

This is a big long room, no bathrooms or really interesting features. The pic doesn't do the paint colour justice, but it's a very pretty light aqua (BM Palladian Blue - I had blogged about it here). Behind me is a window and a small futon, and on the right, across from the desk, there are a series of bookcases (it was hard to get a good picture of them). I'm hoping to turn this area into a playroom / music room / office. The biggest challenge is figuring out how to divide the space since it's so long and skinny.

The living room:

This room is directly above the den, so again, it's long and skinny. It's painted in BM Litchfield Gray. The main thing I want to tackle is decorating that huge blank wall behind the TV - get a wider TV stand, get a bigger dining table, put up some artwork in the dining area, and maybe, just maybe make an accent wall out of the long wall. The photo wall above the couch will be expanded - this is just what I managed to do with the frames I already had before we moved here - and the artwork will be changed up to be more harmonious.

So many ideas swimming around in my head!